Now I know.
"...and this just in: the Zurich School of Applied Sciences has built a video simulation that displays the flight path of every commercial flight in the world over a 24-hour period. There isn't much of an application for it, but it sure is cool to look at," the international radio blasted from the forward compartment.
"Hmmm, maybe I should try counting jet routes instead of sheep," Susan wondered.
Being the 23rd female in space didn't garner a big fanfare or even a full paragraph in the News-Leader; just business as usual. She was there orbiting the earth to test the effects of zero gravity on certain plants. It was weird to see the tomatoes floating above the vines like little red balloons.
"Guess I've been watching too many Star Trek episodes as a kid...and adult!"
"Huh... What the...?"
Was it her imagination, or did the Venus Flytrap just let out a soft, faint growl?
Susan looked at the plant. And then she slowly floated closer toward it. Was it smiling or had Susan been in zero gravity too long? If it was smiling, it wasn't a pleasant, happy smile. It was more of a wicked, evil kind of smile. The kind of smile that made you want to run and hide. But she knew that there was no place to hide in space - the final frontier.
Yet still she could have sworn she saw Vickie move. That was what she named the Flytrap, Vickie. Why a girl's name? Because men are from Mars and women are from Venus – and it's a "Venus" Flytrap.
Yes, dry humor was Susan's specialty.
As Susan floated toward the control panel of the spacecraft to check the oxygen levels, she told her imagination to stop conjuring silly ideas. After months alone in space, she knew her imagination could run wild.Even so, she kept a wary eye on Vickie. She was pretty sure none of the other plants had grown as quickly as Vickie and none of the others smiled or growled.
The next morning, Susan woke to the sound of the onboard computer announcing: "It's 6:03 a.m. central standard time. All systems are operating within approved parameters. Would you like some coffee? I know I could use some more!"
That last comment jolted Susan into full awake mode. "You can use some what!? Wait a minute, you're not the computer! Oh my ... Vickie? No it can't be."
There Vickie stood in all her green glory, grinning wickedly and offering a cup of coffee with a leafy hand.
Then Vickie started humming a song from the Stevie Wonder album titled "The Secret Life of Plants."
"Susan, be a dear and mix up another batch of your secret Miracle Grow formula. I'm getting awfully hungry," the flytrap purred.Susan slowly looked around the space room searching for the plastic bottle that contained Weed Be Gone. She didn't use it often but decided that it was now or never. Plus she liked the added fragrance of apple blossoms that had been incorporated into each bottle.
She grabbed the bottle, pointed the nozzle at Vickie and squeezed the spray trigger. The spray slowly floated through the artificial atmosphere inside the cabin, and then upward (if there is an "up" in space) toward the ceiling.
"Mmmmm, is that apple blossoms?" Vickie squealed. “I love apple blossoms!”
She leapt up and inhaled all of the vapor floating above her with a loud snort! Luckily Vickie hadn't learned to read in her short animated existence.Then she started to cough, gag and turned a slight pink.
Thinking it was now or never, Susan sprang into action! She leapt across the room straight at Vickie Flytrap aiming at her throat... er... stalk. Grabbing with both hands tight she began to pull.
"S-s-susan... that's ... not .... (cough) ...how you ... do the .... Heimlich.... manuveur," Vickie choked out.
Determined to pull the flytrap out of its vase soil, Susan gives it one more mighty PPUUULLLLLL!
SNAP!
Susan, her hands still clenched around Vickie's throat... er... stalk, plopped flat on her rear as the monstrous plant's roots came out of the vase along with potting soil that floated around the gravity-free cabin.
Susan wondered how it was possible to fall on her butt in a gravity-free environment. Then she realized that she had smacked her butt on the ceiling.
"Oh yeah, that's how," she thought.
Turns out Susan had cheated her way through her gravity class. Susan wasn't one to cheat, but she just couldn't understand the concept of "what goes up, must come down." Passing Gravity 101 was required before she could earn the degree that led her to be selected for the flight to study the zero effects of gravity on plants.
Keeping a strong grip on Vickie's throat... er... stalk, Susan watched as Vickie's green face became a paler shade of green. Vickie's eyes bulged and popped with some force, spreading numerous seeds in all directions. As soon as they started floating more steadily, they started sprouting small growth buds, then little leaves, and then Susan's allergies began acting up. All those seeds! The pollen! The spores!
She coughed and sneezed and gasped.
As she took her last breaths, Susan looked out the window of the space ship back to Earth, which looked like a busy anthill.
The End
Contributors: Susan Wade, Phillip Secca, Lori Anne Locke and RoseMarie Combrinck Coetzee
From It was a Dark and Stormy Night on Facebook. Join the group and add to the stories!
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment